Becoming Maddie (The Casterhouse series Book 1) Read online

  “What happened between you going into the bedroom and walking towards me now?” he demanded.

  Maddie gave Marvin a final pat, gathered her thoughts and determination, and stood to face him.

  Looking him straight in the eyes she said, “I haven’t shut off from you, whatever that means, I just want to go and get this over with already.”

  Aiden walked out into the hall to get out of her way as she locked the door then turned to him. Why was he just standing there watching her? Taking a deep breath again and making her face as blank as possible she lifted her head to look at him.

  “There any reason why you’re just stood watching me lock the door?” She asked in an even tone.

  “There is only one way that I know that I can get her back.” He commented as he reached for Maddie putting his hands on either side of her head before kissing her.

  Just like last time all thoughts left her head and she found herself focusing solely on the feel of his lips against her. There was something different this time, it wasn’t worse just different, but it didn’t stop it from feeling good. No not good, Amazing, no not amazing…out of this world! By far the best kiss that she had ever been given bar one. The one she had earlier today.

  His body didn’t pull her in this time he kept the distance between them except for the hands on her face. They kept her head tilted at exactly the right angle to help make the kiss feel so good. He didn’t ask with his tongue to open her mouth, it made her open and take part. Then she got what was different. This was a punishment kiss. A kiss that he was giving her because he was annoyed with her for keeping him out. A kiss he was giving her so that she would do as she was told next time. Even though she knew this, even though her brain hated it, her body was not going to stop the kiss that was making her limbs start to shake. She wanted to fall into him and enjoy it more. That feeling in itself scared her. Aiden held so much power in that moment and he could do anything he wanted with her.

  As if sensing that things inside her head were not going to a good place he slowed the kiss and pulled away. Even though he did it, it didn’t pull her out of the dark place she was going to inside her mind.

  “Talk to me.” He said softly, lifting her chin to make her look him in the eyes.

  In them Maddie could see the openness there, the willingness to hear and share the burden that she carried. He looked like he would help her with anything that happened in the past and would even help her into the light again. But what Maddie knew for sure was there would be no more kisses with this kind of passion behind them if she told him her story. There would be no more of him looking at her like he really wanted her. People never looked at her the same after they found out what she had been through. Even Sarah looked at her a bit differently.

  So even though she was leaving and wouldn’t have him in her life anymore she couldn’t bear to put that look of total pity into his eyes. She wanted to have the memory of the passion and that caramel warmth to hold onto in the dark, cold nights alone.

  “I’m really hungry.” She said as if the words were hurting her to say. Right in front of her she watched his eyes shut down, he gave a little nod and let her go.

  “Let’s go then.” He said holding his hand out for her to lead the way.

  Feeling the night drag on ahead of the two of them she took what felt like her millionth deep breath and headed to the stairs. It definitely isn’t a date now.

  * * * * * * * *

  The journey in the car was travelled in total silence. Aiden helped her up into the truck but still didn’t say anything. She sat pretending that she couldn’t feel his hands on her again and tried to keep her head out of the dark places that it was going to. Maddie didn’t know what he was thinking about but she honestly hoped there would be more talking while they ate because normally when these thoughts got bad she would hide. She would camp out in her flat for a few days. Go to work because she had to pay the bills, walk Marvin, but other than that she would stay in her PJ’s and hide from the rest of the world. That had never been hard for her to do before, this time she thought it would be. For now she needed to get on with the here-and-now, then hide out later.

  The slowing of the truck brought her out of her thoughts and made her look around. They were on a residential street on the other side of town. There was nowhere to eat food here.

  “Where are we?” She said looking around just in case she had missed a restaurant.

  Pulling the truck into one of the many drives off the street Aiden parked the car and started to unbuckle his seat belt.

  “Ah I love silence while I eat.” Maddie said sarcastically. “Nothing like the sound of cutlery scraping off plates to bring romance to the mood.”

  Aiden stopped what he was doing to look at her and raised his eyebrow.

  “Romance?” he responded. Just the way he was sitting, turned and leaning into her, helped to make the cab feel smaller and hotter. If Maddie was honest it didn’t matter where they were he always made the space feel smaller and hotter.

  Maddie realised what she had said and looked out the window taking in the view of the house that they were parked outside. Was this his house? Had he really taken her to his house for a meal together? It was a pretty white bungalow with hanging baskets and a well-kept front lawn. The curtains were drawn but the lights were on. It had a strong welcoming feel that Maddie always felt about her flat.

  “Not romance.” She said quickly. “I was just meaning it will be boring if there is no talking.”

  There was more silence after she had spoken, deafening silence, she turned to look at him. Aiden, who was just sat looking at her. His face didn’t looking annoyed or angry, sad or happy what it did look was 100% blank. It looked like he wasn’t feeling anything at all. His face was how she had wanted hers to be. How she probably wasn’t managing to do anymore. Aiden turned away and unbuckled his seat.

  “Don’t worry there will be no silence tonight.” He jumped down out of the cab and walked round to her door, opened it and reached up to help her jump down.

  There was no letting her body run down his or letting his hands linger on her waist. Maddie tried not to be upset at feeling him let go of her as quickly as he could. She couldn’t look up at him because she was too upset and knew that she wasn’t to keep her face blank like she wanted to. He really was much better at it than she was.

  “So where are we?” She asked trying to sound steady.

  He looked at her and for the first time since they left the flat, although he didn’t smile with his lips it was clear in his eyes. Okay Maddie was in trouble. One smile from those eyes and she was ready to just give up and go with the flow of the night. Maybe for one night it would be fun for that to happen but could she let it? Her problem was that if she did it for one night then she would get sucked in and never want to leave. That would not only be putting herself in danger but all the people she was coming to care for too.

  That was such a sobering thought that Maddie stood taller. She now knew that tonight she would be able to act the happy-to-be-here person but when she was alone she would be able to make the plans that she needed to. Plans that would see her moving on and keeping these people safe from her past.

  “We’re having dinner with my family.” He answered.

  “What?” Maddie said quickly watching him walk towards the door. “I can’t have dinner with your family!”

  She wasn’t dressed for that. She wasn’t ready for that. She didn’t want to.

  “Well that’s where you’re having dinner.” Aiden said turning to look at her when she hadn’t moved with him to the door.

  What was he thinking? Maddie felt this was a question that she had been asking herself a lot today but it needed to be asked. Aiden was always taking her by surprise and there had only been two that she had actually enjoyed. Not that she wanted to be going over how good those two surprises had felt right now.

  “I am not.” She point blank refused. “Take me home.”

  When
he started to walk back to the truck she thought he was getting ready to get in a take them back…she was wrong.

  Instead he interwove their fingers and pulled her to the door. It left her very little choice but to jog behind him as he took, what she thought were, large steps to the door. It was either jog or fall flat on her face.

  “Aiden.” She squeaked as he stopped them in front of the door. “Please.”

  But it was too late he had already rung the doorbell and he was not letting go of her hand. No matter how much her other hand was trying to pry his fingers off.

  “At least let go of my hand.” She whispered urgently.

  “No.” he said back.

  “Please.” She begged still trying to get her hand free. “Your parents will get the wrong idea.”

  Aiden gave her hand a little squeeze that made her look up at him straight away. His eyes were gentle but his face had that look that said she was not going to like this.

  “My parents can’t think anything because they’re dead.” He stated plainly.

  Maddie’s mouth dropped open. You don’t just say something like that. News like that was something you told someone late at night after a couple of glasses of wine. Or when you were going places with someone and you wanted them to know something about you. What you definitely didn’t do was tell it to someone on a doorstep to what they thought was your parents’ house.

  “Happened a long time again.” Aiden carried on. “The people we are having dinner with raised me.”

  With that he turned back to the door as they could both hear someone unlocking it on the other side.

  Maddie had just a couple of seconds to say, “It may have happened a long time ago but I am really sorry anyway.”

  Then the door was flung open and they were ushered in by a friendly older man. What Maddie didn’t do was try and pull her hand free of Aiden’s anymore and he didn’t let go either.

  Chapter 8

  Standing in a beautiful, welcoming and homely kitchen Maddie’s fingers squeezed Aiden’s hand hard. Although the people stood in front of her seemed incredibly friendly, she was still way out of her depth.

  “Aiden you haven’t been round in ages!” a short older woman said.

  Aiden just smiled at the woman and bent to kiss her check, never letting go of Maddie’s hand.

  The lady was attractive, with very light blonde hair that combined nicely with the grey that was growing in strong. She was wearing a pair of blue trousers and a cream top with a sweet flowery shirt over the top. Her hair was up in a twist on the top of her head. She had a fringe that seemed to get in her eyes a little but just added to the whole cute package.

  The man stood next to her was tall. Taller than Maddie but not quite as tall as Aiden. He had on a pair of brown trousers with a blue shirt and blue pullover jumper. He stood next to the woman, who Maddie thought was his wife, with his arms crossed and huge grin on his face as he looked at Aiden.

  Once the woman had stepped back the man walked forward and threw his arms round Aiden for a man hug, which included manly back slaps, before stepping back to just look at him.

  “Tis good to have you home son.” He said gruffly to him.

  Aiden again smiled at him and said, “It’s good to be home Eddie.”

  The older man nodded before stepping back.

  “If you think that then why don’t you come home more often?” The woman half moaned half pouted.

  “Now don’t get one at him Fi.” Eddie said to the shorter woman. “Or he won’t come round at all.”

  The woman looked at Eddie and crossed her arms before turning to full-on pout at Aiden.

  Through this whole exchange Maddie just stood there and tried to not look as terrified as she felt. She knew that Aiden would know because she had to be cutting off the circulation to his fingers.

  “Eddie, Fiona this is Maddie.” Aiden said very casually.

  And that was it. That was all he was going to say about her. The couple in front of them had clearly not been expecting Eddie, let alone Maddie, to be coming around for dinner and yet that was all he was going to say. But then what more was she wanting him to say. It’s not like he could call her his girlfriend because she was most definitely not. Besides they had only known each other a handful of days, even if it felt like so much longer. Then again they were holding hands so these two people were probably coming to their own conclusions, conclusions that were all wrong.

  Feeling awkward at Aiden’s introduction Maddie stepped closer to them and held out other her hand.

  “Hello.” She said formally. “It’s nice to meet you both.”

  The older couple looked at her for a second, then her hand and then gave her huge smiles.

  “We don’t shake hands in this house Honey.” The woman said as she walked forwards and gave Maddie her second hug of the day. “I’m Fiona and this is my husband Eddie.” She said pulling back.

  As soon as Fiona was back where she started Eddie walked forward and gave her a hug so hard that all the air left her lungs and she bit her lip not to gasp.

  “Ed you’re going to kill the girl.” Fiona snapped at her husband.

  Eddie let her go and looked down at her. He seemed to be looking for something but Maddie wasn’t sure what it was. In fact the moment happened so fast she wasn’t sure what had really happened at all. He had stepped back and put his arm around his wife’s shoulders before she was really sure what had happened.

  Maddie wasn’t sure what to do now. Looking around the white flowery kitchen for inspiration she thought quickly on her feet.

  “Something smells amazing.” Maddie said but then got worried that that sounded like she was inviting herself to dinner. Before she could say anything Aiden spoke.

  “Enough for us Fiona?” Aiden asked.

  Again the shorter woman crossed her arms and frowned up at Aiden.

  “Just because you forget who I am doesn’t mean I don’t always have enough food for you.” She snapped again before marching over to the fridge, pulling out vegetables and started peeling like a pro.

  “You feeling guilty yet son?” Eddie asked making Maddie drag her eyes away from Fiona’s impressively speedy hands.

  Next to her Aiden gave a little chuckle. “No.” he said to Eddie then looked over at Fiona’s back. “But if she keeps it up I might before the end of the night. A little bit anyway.”

  Fiona gave a loud ‘humph’ that made the two men laugh out loud.

  “Beer son?” Eddie asked.

  “Yeah.” Aiden replied. “Maddie will talk one too.”

  Her head snapped up to look at him. So now he was giving her drink orders too. Bossy and macho that’s what he was.

  Aiden just winked at her, as if he knew her thoughts again, before tugging on Maddie’s hand taking her to a small but warm living room. Every room in this house seemed just as welcoming as the outside had looked. All of it said, ‘come in a while and put your feet up’.

  What do you mean when you said ‘these people raised you’?” Maddie asked quietly as Aiden sat them down on a green sofa that had wonderful matching floral covered cushions.

  Maddie was sensing that one of the couple loved flowers enough that they had to be added to every room. She also sensed it was Fiona. Although it said a lot about Eddie, who seemed to be a manly man, that he was comfortable to live with them too. Or maybe it said how much he loved his wife that he was willing to make her happy in any way he could. Of course it was more likely that Maddie was reading way too much into it.

  “Just that.” Aiden said. “They raised me. Took me and my sister in when our parents died and raised us.”

  He had a sister? It hit her then that she actually knew next to nothing about the man that she was sat next to. On normal first dates you would spend that time talking and getting to find out that stuff about a person. It didn’t look like there would be much of that happening tonight…Not that this was a first date.

  “You have a sister?” she asked.
r />   She felt him get stiff. He looked away from her and looked out the large bay windows in the room. They over-looked the street and the curtains were crossed so Maddie knew he was thinking. Maybe she had stepped on a hidden minefield.

  “Yeah.” He simply answered.

  How strange Maddie thought, he could openly talk about how his parents had passed away but couldn’t talk about his sister. Maddie froze. Maybe she was dead too. Right! She was going to stop asking him questions. She shouldn’t be anyway, it would just make it harder on her when she had to leave.

  It was then that Eddie walked back in carrying a couple of beers. Handing them out he said, “Fi says that Dinner will be ready in 5.”

  And that was how the evening went. Fiona and Eddie were good people. The food was an amazing home cooked, stick to your bones and keep you going for day’s, meal. There had only been one tricky moment when Fiona had asked about Maddie’s family. She hadn’t wanted to be rude after how friendly they had been to her but she couldn’t share much…if anything at all.

  “My Dad worked as an electrician and my mum was a stay-at-home wife.” She had said as she scooped up another spoon full of the rich Irish stew and put it in her mouth hoping they wouldn’t ask her anything else.

  “Do you have any brothers or sisters?” Fiona asked.

  It was not asked in a nosey way but in a getting-to-know a person sort of way but it made Maddie squirm inside. Looking up, she caught Aiden sitting back in his seat just watching her. She realised then that this was only the second piece of information about her past that he was getting. It was also pretty clear that he knew how uncomfortable it was making her to share.

  “Nope.” Maddie answered. “It was just me.”

  What she didn’t say, but didn’t know was clear in her tone, was that one had been enough for her parents. Most of the time, or all of it, they wished they hadn’t even had that many.

  “Should have seen the car that came into the garage yesterday Eddie.” Aiden said from across the table.

  Maddie didn’t look up from her food because she knew that he had changed the subject on purpose but she tried to not think about why he had done it. Most likely he had taken pity on her though.